The speed at which the outside world moves blows me away sometimes.
I just talked with a good old friend and I found myself breathless after the conversation.
This often happen when I interact with the world outside the monastery. It just moves so fast.
I don't think there is anything wrong with it it's just that the pace can be exahusting. It makes me very grateful for how slow things move. So I wrote this about it.
Like a glacier
zen practice will not relent
it slowly forms the earth underneath
on top all you see is calm white
but underneath
over ages and hours of silent sitting
the slowest changes you can't watch
the earth is being formed anew
it is being molded by patient will
so when the calm white passes
nothing will ever be as it was
Friday, July 16, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
To Throw A Party
To throw a party:
bring presence in abundance
bring each moment fresh and new with un-peeled eyes
bring a soft rustle of leaves
bring the maddening love of everything
bring roses with big thorns to adore
bring soft fading moments of sun
bring silence
bring stillness
bring presence in abundance
bring each moment fresh and new with un-peeled eyes
bring a soft rustle of leaves
bring the maddening love of everything
bring roses with big thorns to adore
bring soft fading moments of sun
bring silence
bring stillness
invite all 10,000 things unnamed
and most of all
do not invite yourself
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A Mind Full of Eating
So we had a mindful eating retreat this weekend. Another opportunity to look into the depth of experience with food. After several months of eating Ōryōki (a Japanese Style of Formal eating used in Chinese and Japanese Monasteries for hundreds of years) I've gotten used to the style of eating and gained a certain ability to tune out. Which is unfortunate when you consider how much experience in possible in the consumption of food. I relished this opportunity to try relearn old tools to be present with my food.
We did great exercises like putting the spoon down between bites, looking deeply into food where we look at all the people and beings that took part in bringing what we eat, and a great exercise where we see the effect of very small amounts of sugar, salt, chocolate, and hot sauce on memories and emotions.
I personally enjoyed all the wisdom that other people shared about their experiences and as always was amazed at how much suffering food can cause. A thing that everyone needs and so many people don't have enough of causes people a great deal of pain. I got to see the power of what we consume from food, to energy, to information. A friend of mine who I just met briefly this year talks about it in her blog which I commented on earlier. You can read her blog and what I wrote here. But the jist of it was that there is so much to be said for how we consume so much in this country in the form of energy. Food, fuel, and information.
Chozen Roshi spoke to the fact that ultimately we have a big problem with dissatisfaction. Even though we have way more then we need of certain things she spoke to the essential nutrient so many people are missing. That is spiritual food in any form it takes, but which usually manifests in the act of being present with what is.
A way I approached this in my own practice this weekend was by allowing a fly to land on my body and face without swatting at it. I found that though my mind objected that when I was able to be really present that the experience had a lot of depth to it. I could feel the tiny legs on me and the life that those legs carried. How often have I let a lady bug crawl on me with joy, but with a fly I have only aversion. It is amazing to see how the mind judges and chooses. It also amazes me how to really breakdown all these choices leads to freedom, and yet they happen slowly. As Chozen said it doesn't happen all at once but with small edges of practice that chip away at the low level suffering as well as it's more deep and powerful counter parts.
As I have seen when I stopped seasoning my food there is so much texture and depth to what is there when I am really willing to look and see it. A fellow residents noted tonight that when I came to the monastery I never looked people in the eye and now I fully engage. I was amazed to have him notice this change in me. To me it seems subtle, but after 6 months of intense practice I feel so much more able to engage in the world.
Every moment has an infinite depth of experience and the struggle to stay present is endlessly challenging. Yet it is always worth it. It's so strange that I used to feel like I needed to watch so much news to feel like I knew what was going on and yet never real paid attention to the 6 inches in front of me. I took those basics for granted. I am seeing more and more that the rustle of leaves in the trees and the real connection you feel in someone's eyes when you engage with them is more real than any news story. To know that is to know what is really going on.
I hope this helps brings some new awareness to your day. And if your interested in mindful eating you should check out the book Mindful Eating by my Teacher Dr Jan Chozen Bays Roshi.
We did great exercises like putting the spoon down between bites, looking deeply into food where we look at all the people and beings that took part in bringing what we eat, and a great exercise where we see the effect of very small amounts of sugar, salt, chocolate, and hot sauce on memories and emotions.
I personally enjoyed all the wisdom that other people shared about their experiences and as always was amazed at how much suffering food can cause. A thing that everyone needs and so many people don't have enough of causes people a great deal of pain. I got to see the power of what we consume from food, to energy, to information. A friend of mine who I just met briefly this year talks about it in her blog which I commented on earlier. You can read her blog and what I wrote here. But the jist of it was that there is so much to be said for how we consume so much in this country in the form of energy. Food, fuel, and information.
Chozen Roshi spoke to the fact that ultimately we have a big problem with dissatisfaction. Even though we have way more then we need of certain things she spoke to the essential nutrient so many people are missing. That is spiritual food in any form it takes, but which usually manifests in the act of being present with what is.
A way I approached this in my own practice this weekend was by allowing a fly to land on my body and face without swatting at it. I found that though my mind objected that when I was able to be really present that the experience had a lot of depth to it. I could feel the tiny legs on me and the life that those legs carried. How often have I let a lady bug crawl on me with joy, but with a fly I have only aversion. It is amazing to see how the mind judges and chooses. It also amazes me how to really breakdown all these choices leads to freedom, and yet they happen slowly. As Chozen said it doesn't happen all at once but with small edges of practice that chip away at the low level suffering as well as it's more deep and powerful counter parts.
As I have seen when I stopped seasoning my food there is so much texture and depth to what is there when I am really willing to look and see it. A fellow residents noted tonight that when I came to the monastery I never looked people in the eye and now I fully engage. I was amazed to have him notice this change in me. To me it seems subtle, but after 6 months of intense practice I feel so much more able to engage in the world.
Every moment has an infinite depth of experience and the struggle to stay present is endlessly challenging. Yet it is always worth it. It's so strange that I used to feel like I needed to watch so much news to feel like I knew what was going on and yet never real paid attention to the 6 inches in front of me. I took those basics for granted. I am seeing more and more that the rustle of leaves in the trees and the real connection you feel in someone's eyes when you engage with them is more real than any news story. To know that is to know what is really going on.
I hope this helps brings some new awareness to your day. And if your interested in mindful eating you should check out the book Mindful Eating by my Teacher Dr Jan Chozen Bays Roshi.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Fourth is The ForthOf Course Of Course
Well it was a very interesting weekend at the Monastery.
This was the first weekend for our many new summer residents. We have a group of 15 or so new people who will be living with us for the next month. It's great to have to influx of new energy and it's fascinating to watch people adjusting to this different way of life. You tend to forget how living this way can be so challenging. They are all very eager but you can see the first week of early waking and long sitting effecting them. A couple of quotes that made me realize how much of a alien planet a zen monastery can be.
1. I just want to thank you guys for being normal (This was said to me and to another resident. No one has ever thanked me or her for being normal.)
2. We get to sleep in til 6:50 tomorrow and no Zazen * WOW! Really! That's Awesome!
*Zazen is seated meditation practice (The fact that 6:50 is an amazingly late time to sleep in speaks for itself)
We were also involved in a 4th of July Extravaganza. Many of us participated in different floats. I participated in the Quincy Crash Band. A jam band made up of monastery residents covered in glitter and followed by residents dressed as fairies, a couple who were on skates. It was indeed quite the spectacle and I will try to get pictures. We did jams around the themes of funk, rock, ska, and reggae. I played guitar on the funk and rock parts and did poi on the others. It was a ton of fun and its very different then they way folks from the monastery interact with the local populace.
The whole time spent in Clatskanie was very interesting. It was really cool to see such small town America out to celebrate the Fourth of July. They had a fair with a lumberjack competition, bingo, funnel cake, and carnival rides. I spent most of the time playing bingo, watching the dunking booth and talking to my folks. I wanted to get a funnel cake, but the line was 40 mins long and that seemed like too much effort just to eat something that I shouldn't.
Later we grilled at the Monastery veggie dogs brats and burgers and loads of potato salad. Then we played ultimate frisbee and some wizard. We ended off the whole thing by driving back into town to watch the fireworks. All in all it was really fun day for all involved.
But of course the Dharma is always speaking so here's what I took away from it.
First my favorite quotes of the day.
1. Hogen (One of the Zen Teachers at Great Vow):
"Sam sit down play some Bingo for the Kiwannis Club"
Chozen (The other Zen Teacher at Great Vow (After I had gotten my bingo cards)):
"You know the Buddha Forbids gambling"
2. Chozen: There are two things you should never run out of. Blankets and fireworks.
3. (As we are setting up some fireworks to shoot off)
Sam: "I remember safety first."
Chozen: "No. . . fireworks first."
Next what the Dharma taught me.
1.People are trying to end there suffering in anything they can do including causing others to suffer. I observed this at the dunking booth. And don't get me wrong I love a dunking booth but the premise under it is interesting. Have fun by causing someone else to suffer in cold water. Though no one really is getting hurt the idea behind this is the basis for the continuation of suffering in our world. It really shows me that people endeavor to end there suffering and that a common unskillful way to do that is by hurting others. There is a biological reason for this and it does satisfy that craving, but I really wonder why we are set up like that.
2. Children do most things wholeheartedly. I watched these kids competing in the lumberjack competition. They were just going full out. If there's one thing I wish I could relearn or not have forgotten its how to be that wholehearted. I think it's because we realize how much it hurts to fail when we really try so we stop trying so hard. The thing is that hurts even more. There is a beauty and a cleansing that can happen with wholehearted effort.
3. We spent some time with some sangha members dog who is dying. She can't really move and has to be carried around. She was a sweet dog and it was beautiful to have so many people around her sending her loving kindness. But the look in her eyes made me realize the universality of dying and that bitter sweetness that comes with it. We will all have to face that great mystery at some point. But so will every other living thing that we know of. The look in her eyes reminded me of how in death we participate in this great transition with all things. In some ways its the ultimate expression of our very nature of impermanence. And reflects so much about life itself in it's sublime sadness.
Well thats all for now. I hope everyone had a good Fourth and Keep your eyes peeled for some good pics coming later.
As always Gassho and Namaste!
This was the first weekend for our many new summer residents. We have a group of 15 or so new people who will be living with us for the next month. It's great to have to influx of new energy and it's fascinating to watch people adjusting to this different way of life. You tend to forget how living this way can be so challenging. They are all very eager but you can see the first week of early waking and long sitting effecting them. A couple of quotes that made me realize how much of a alien planet a zen monastery can be.
1. I just want to thank you guys for being normal (This was said to me and to another resident. No one has ever thanked me or her for being normal.)
2. We get to sleep in til 6:50 tomorrow and no Zazen * WOW! Really! That's Awesome!
*Zazen is seated meditation practice (The fact that 6:50 is an amazingly late time to sleep in speaks for itself)
We were also involved in a 4th of July Extravaganza. Many of us participated in different floats. I participated in the Quincy Crash Band. A jam band made up of monastery residents covered in glitter and followed by residents dressed as fairies, a couple who were on skates. It was indeed quite the spectacle and I will try to get pictures. We did jams around the themes of funk, rock, ska, and reggae. I played guitar on the funk and rock parts and did poi on the others. It was a ton of fun and its very different then they way folks from the monastery interact with the local populace.
The whole time spent in Clatskanie was very interesting. It was really cool to see such small town America out to celebrate the Fourth of July. They had a fair with a lumberjack competition, bingo, funnel cake, and carnival rides. I spent most of the time playing bingo, watching the dunking booth and talking to my folks. I wanted to get a funnel cake, but the line was 40 mins long and that seemed like too much effort just to eat something that I shouldn't.
Later we grilled at the Monastery veggie dogs brats and burgers and loads of potato salad. Then we played ultimate frisbee and some wizard. We ended off the whole thing by driving back into town to watch the fireworks. All in all it was really fun day for all involved.
But of course the Dharma is always speaking so here's what I took away from it.
First my favorite quotes of the day.
1. Hogen (One of the Zen Teachers at Great Vow):
"Sam sit down play some Bingo for the Kiwannis Club"
Chozen (The other Zen Teacher at Great Vow (After I had gotten my bingo cards)):
"You know the Buddha Forbids gambling"
2. Chozen: There are two things you should never run out of. Blankets and fireworks.
3. (As we are setting up some fireworks to shoot off)
Sam: "I remember safety first."
Chozen: "No. . . fireworks first."
Next what the Dharma taught me.
1.People are trying to end there suffering in anything they can do including causing others to suffer. I observed this at the dunking booth. And don't get me wrong I love a dunking booth but the premise under it is interesting. Have fun by causing someone else to suffer in cold water. Though no one really is getting hurt the idea behind this is the basis for the continuation of suffering in our world. It really shows me that people endeavor to end there suffering and that a common unskillful way to do that is by hurting others. There is a biological reason for this and it does satisfy that craving, but I really wonder why we are set up like that.
2. Children do most things wholeheartedly. I watched these kids competing in the lumberjack competition. They were just going full out. If there's one thing I wish I could relearn or not have forgotten its how to be that wholehearted. I think it's because we realize how much it hurts to fail when we really try so we stop trying so hard. The thing is that hurts even more. There is a beauty and a cleansing that can happen with wholehearted effort.
3. We spent some time with some sangha members dog who is dying. She can't really move and has to be carried around. She was a sweet dog and it was beautiful to have so many people around her sending her loving kindness. But the look in her eyes made me realize the universality of dying and that bitter sweetness that comes with it. We will all have to face that great mystery at some point. But so will every other living thing that we know of. The look in her eyes reminded me of how in death we participate in this great transition with all things. In some ways its the ultimate expression of our very nature of impermanence. And reflects so much about life itself in it's sublime sadness.
Well thats all for now. I hope everyone had a good Fourth and Keep your eyes peeled for some good pics coming later.
As always Gassho and Namaste!
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